I always get the feeling it's the mark of a good person to say something like that
[It wasn't just being some paragon, someone who never made mistakes, someone who never felt the dire impulses of base, petty, aggressive insinuations unbidden from somewhere within them. It was easy to assume that that was the core and essence of their being, that actively fighting such impulse and plastering over it with kindness that felt like a shoddy veneer was merely being deceitful.
But no one was perfect. What made a good person was self-awareness to see themselves at their worst and a conviction to try to be at their best. He struggles at that, too, and he still thinks of himself along the same lines that she does.]
maybe I don't really think I've met a legitimate angel or devil besides you, anyways but yeah. people aren't usually that easy to pigeonhole, are they? I guess it doesn't matter what kind of heart you have, it's more what's in it and what you do about it
[Those questions, though -
They tear at him. Ryo is asleep in the room, and so he cages the feelings within him, only allowing the silent streams of tears and not the choking sobs that wanted to chase after them. It hurt, aching in his chest.
His mind's eye plays it on a loop, the images of people shooting one another in the streets, frenzied by paranoia that the demons were among them, that they would do the same or worse. This isn't supposed to be what happened. He sniffs quietly, turning his face into his pillow to clear away some of the tears. They were supposed to come together, not tear apart.
Maybe people weren't what he thought they were, but... if that was true, what did he have left? What was the point of it all? What had they done?
No communication is sent from Akira for a while before he gathers enough composure to respond.]
I dont know, venus I really dont
[For once he finds himself really happy no one could see him cry.]
sometimes sometimes I zone out and when I come to I'm about to do something really awful and I don't know why I've been able to stop myself, but I do worry
I don't know it was easier to deal with back home I uh
[The fact that she'd elicited some shred of empathy in him for demons needles at him, and he can't say it the way he usually would have.]
I fight a lot more back home. that usually helped a little
this is long oops
[It wasn't just being some paragon, someone who never made mistakes, someone who never felt the dire impulses of base, petty, aggressive insinuations unbidden from somewhere within them. It was easy to assume that that was the core and essence of their being, that actively fighting such impulse and plastering over it with kindness that felt like a shoddy veneer was merely being deceitful.
But no one was perfect. What made a good person was self-awareness to see themselves at their worst and a conviction to try to be at their best. He struggles at that, too, and he still thinks of himself along the same lines that she does.]
maybe
I don't really think I've met a legitimate angel or devil
besides you, anyways
but yeah. people aren't usually that easy to pigeonhole, are they?
I guess it doesn't matter what kind of heart you have, it's more what's in it and what you do about it
[Those questions, though -
They tear at him. Ryo is asleep in the room, and so he cages the feelings within him, only allowing the silent streams of tears and not the choking sobs that wanted to chase after them. It hurt, aching in his chest.
His mind's eye plays it on a loop, the images of people shooting one another in the streets, frenzied by paranoia that the demons were among them, that they would do the same or worse. This isn't supposed to be what happened. He sniffs quietly, turning his face into his pillow to clear away some of the tears. They were supposed to come together, not tear apart.
Maybe people weren't what he thought they were, but... if that was true, what did he have left? What was the point of it all? What had they done?
No communication is sent from Akira for a while before he gathers enough composure to respond.]
I dont know, venus
I really dont
[For once he finds himself really happy no one could see him cry.]
sometimes
sometimes I zone out and when I come to I'm about to do something really awful and I don't know why
I've been able to stop myself, but
I do worry
I don't know
it was easier to deal with back home
I
uh
[The fact that she'd elicited some shred of empathy in him for demons needles at him, and he can't say it the way he usually would have.]
I fight a lot more back home. that usually helped a little