Venus ♀ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wingstosee) wrote2018-04-12 01:19 pm
wingstosee) wrote2018-04-12 01:19 pm
Entry tags:
ic inbox (reverie)
♀
text / audio / video / action
Is this how I... Wait, is it recording?
Crap.Um- hi! Leave a message? art credit code credit
♀
text / audio / video / action
Is this how I... Wait, is it recording?
Crap.Um- hi! Leave a message? art credit code credit
[Very late in the evening (and maybe partially into the morning) after their brief altercation, Venus will receive a text message.]
sorry
I shouldnt have acted that way to you, I shouldve known better
[A brief pause.]
I was just scared
but thats... not really a good excuse
sorry
I shouldnt have acted that way to you, I shouldve known better
[A brief pause.]
I was just scared
but thats... not really a good excuse
yeah. i guess it isn't, huh
[ but that doesn't stay for along before it's followed by another message ]
but i don't even have an excuse like that for snapping at you?
i got angry, and freaked out, and i didn't hold it back.
so i guess we both messed up. haha.
i really appreciate the apology.
i'm not really used to that kind of thing.
and...
i'm sorry too.
[ but that doesn't stay for along before it's followed by another message ]
but i don't even have an excuse like that for snapping at you?
i got angry, and freaked out, and i didn't hold it back.
so i guess we both messed up. haha.
i really appreciate the apology.
i'm not really used to that kind of thing.
and...
i'm sorry too.
idk
I was basically threatening you
that's not something you do to a friend
so it seemed pretty justified to me
[Not like him, when he acted as he had towards someone he had no reason to believe would've done anything wrong.
But even if he doesn't really agree with the necessity of it, he accepts her apology regardless.]
I'm just happy you're not completely fed up with me yet because of this
[It's meant to be half a joke but it doesn't really read the way he wishes it did...]
sometimes I, like... I do something and it makes perfect sense at the time but then I think about it later and I realize I would've never even thought about doing that thing just a few weeks ago
sometimes the thing is kinda cool and it works out
but sometimes its like this
[He isn't even really sure where he's going with this, tbh. It's late and he just keeps pecking out the words and pressing send.]
I was basically threatening you
that's not something you do to a friend
so it seemed pretty justified to me
[Not like him, when he acted as he had towards someone he had no reason to believe would've done anything wrong.
But even if he doesn't really agree with the necessity of it, he accepts her apology regardless.]
I'm just happy you're not completely fed up with me yet because of this
[It's meant to be half a joke but it doesn't really read the way he wishes it did...]
sometimes I, like... I do something and it makes perfect sense at the time but then I think about it later and I realize I would've never even thought about doing that thing just a few weeks ago
sometimes the thing is kinda cool and it works out
but sometimes its like this
[He isn't even really sure where he's going with this, tbh. It's late and he just keeps pecking out the words and pressing send.]
maybe it is justified?
but it still sucks.
it sucks a lot and i don't like that it happened in the first place.
and i'm not going to toss out the first person i've found here who gets it.
you know?
maybe that's what friends do. human friends.
but i'm the devil and i can do what i want. :P
and i get you.
i haven't had something bad like that happen yet...
but it probably will soon enough.
that's just part of being the way we are.
either you pretend you aren't you, or you accept it and work through it.
you know?
sorry that probably doesn't make any sense??
but it still sucks.
it sucks a lot and i don't like that it happened in the first place.
and i'm not going to toss out the first person i've found here who gets it.
you know?
maybe that's what friends do. human friends.
but i'm the devil and i can do what i want. :P
and i get you.
i haven't had something bad like that happen yet...
but it probably will soon enough.
that's just part of being the way we are.
either you pretend you aren't you, or you accept it and work through it.
you know?
sorry that probably doesn't make any sense??
Edited 2018-05-19 04:11 (UTC)
yeah, it sucks
but you're right. there are only so many devilmen around here, and we're still figurin this stuff out
so we should figure it out together, yeah?
[It's a relief, though. People seeing him like that and getting too frightened to be around him any longer - it's still something that snags in his mind.]
no, it does
it might be different for each person
I only found one other devilman back home and he struggled a lot. I... I think he lost control a few times and hurt people
but it's gotta be somethin that you get better at the longer youre like this, right?
the only thing that bugs me is that sometimes it... doesnt really feel like me
[Like you were trying to drive a car and the car decided to refuse your direction and swerve off the road. Thanks, Amon. He wishes you paid rent.]
but I guess I'm different from who I remember a while ago, so I should get used to that?
but you're right. there are only so many devilmen around here, and we're still figurin this stuff out
so we should figure it out together, yeah?
[It's a relief, though. People seeing him like that and getting too frightened to be around him any longer - it's still something that snags in his mind.]
no, it does
it might be different for each person
I only found one other devilman back home and he struggled a lot. I... I think he lost control a few times and hurt people
but it's gotta be somethin that you get better at the longer youre like this, right?
the only thing that bugs me is that sometimes it... doesnt really feel like me
[Like you were trying to drive a car and the car decided to refuse your direction and swerve off the road. Thanks, Amon. He wishes you paid rent.]
but I guess I'm different from who I remember a while ago, so I should get used to that?
yeah. that's how i feel too. :)
and... that's awful. i'm sorry.
the idea of hurting someone just because of who you are...
i don't like thinking about that.
but i guess we have to.
just because you're different doesn't mean you're different. you know?
that makes no sense when i write it out, but
i guess what i'm saying is that even if you let the devil in, you're still you?
i know i'm still me. and i hope your friend was able to understand that.
is he doing okay?
did he... you know
are you still okay now that he's seen you?
and... that's awful. i'm sorry.
the idea of hurting someone just because of who you are...
i don't like thinking about that.
but i guess we have to.
just because you're different doesn't mean you're different. you know?
that makes no sense when i write it out, but
i guess what i'm saying is that even if you let the devil in, you're still you?
i know i'm still me. and i hope your friend was able to understand that.
is he doing okay?
did he... you know
are you still okay now that he's seen you?
[And that's where their paths diverged: claiming ownership over the demon that tried to do the same to you wasn't the same as welcoming the devil, because one was a struggle and the other was an acceptance, the act of stepping into what one was truly meant to be outside of the expectations of society. That wasn't Akira's case. He kept chained and bound a beast that would prefer destroy and defile everything it could, and it was only through the strength of his heart that he kept it subdued to little more than chattering impulses in the back of his brain, easily drowned-out by the compass in the core of his chest steering him towards what he thought was right.
It wasn't always that easy though.]
it's all about controlling it I guess
I don't really think there's any way to get rid of it
[He'd learned pretty quick the only way to quiet the urges was to sate them. Tearing demons apart in the middle of the night had helped, but it's a beast of a different breed here.]
did you really feel that way?
when I became like this I just...
I don't know. I don't think it's like, I'm gone, or I was destroyed or anything. but it's like I was mixed up with something else and now it's all so tangled up I don't know what was me originally or what might've been something else
I guess I'm happy that I'm "me" enough? or, that I'm "me" enough for people to still recognize me
but idk. it feels weird sometimes
yeah
he's fine
he slept a bit but then he went back to normal
[Thank fuck.
He's about to tell her that it was strange, how he'd acted, that he wasn't usually like that, but he pauses at the question. It... well, yeah. She'd think it was the first time, wouldn't she?]
oh
no he's seen me like that a bunch of times
honestly he's seen me a lot worse. I... I can get a lot bigger and meaner-looking than that
It wasn't always that easy though.]
it's all about controlling it I guess
I don't really think there's any way to get rid of it
[He'd learned pretty quick the only way to quiet the urges was to sate them. Tearing demons apart in the middle of the night had helped, but it's a beast of a different breed here.]
did you really feel that way?
when I became like this I just...
I don't know. I don't think it's like, I'm gone, or I was destroyed or anything. but it's like I was mixed up with something else and now it's all so tangled up I don't know what was me originally or what might've been something else
I guess I'm happy that I'm "me" enough? or, that I'm "me" enough for people to still recognize me
but idk. it feels weird sometimes
yeah
he's fine
he slept a bit but then he went back to normal
[Thank fuck.
He's about to tell her that it was strange, how he'd acted, that he wasn't usually like that, but he pauses at the question. It... well, yeah. She'd think it was the first time, wouldn't she?]
oh
no he's seen me like that a bunch of times
honestly he's seen me a lot worse. I... I can get a lot bigger and meaner-looking than that
oh! hey.
didn't notice you there at first.
since you're being pretty sneaky.
what's up?
is this about troll michael jackson because i figured out some other people i could ask about
didn't notice you there at first.
since you're being pretty sneaky.
what's up?
is this about troll michael jackson because i figured out some other people i could ask about
it totally can be?
after we talk about the more important stuff first obviously.
although it's kind of hard to be more important than multiversal conspiracies?
haha. i should have asked about troll dan brown. dang.
but yeah!!
i went. i actually tried to speak up some even
i'm not really used to that kind of thing but i did my best :)
after we talk about the more important stuff first obviously.
although it's kind of hard to be more important than multiversal conspiracies?
haha. i should have asked about troll dan brown. dang.
but yeah!!
i went. i actually tried to speak up some even
i'm not really used to that kind of thing but i did my best :)
T4LK1NG 4BOUT TROLL D4N BROWN'S DUMB CONSP1R4C13S 1S PUN1NSH4BL3 BY B31NG FORC3D TO B3 4 SL4V3 1N TH3 3MPR3SS'S S4NDW1CH CH41N FOR TH3 R3ST OF YOUR L1F3
H1S WORKS 4R3 CONS1D3R3D 4 CR1M3 4G41NST L1T3R4TUR3 4ND HON3STLY 1 DON'T KNOW WHY TH3Y L3T H1M L1V3 SO LONG 4ND WR1T3 SO M4NY SH1TTY BOOKS
1 TH1NK M4YB3 TH3 SUBJUGGL4TORS THOUGHT 1T WOULD B3 FUNNY
4NYW4Y!!!
4WWW, 4R3 YOU SHY? >;]
OR JUST N3RVOUS?
1 LOV3 PUBL1C SP34K1NG, 1 US3D TO DO 4 LOT OF 1T B4CK WH3N 1 W4S FL4RP1NG
1 ST4RT3D D3B4T1NG W1TH SOM3 HUG3 DORK WH1L3 1 W4S TH3R3
W3LL, M4YB3 TH4T'S NOT TH3 R1GHT WORD?
1T W4SN'T MUCH OF 4 D3B4T3
H1S WORKS 4R3 CONS1D3R3D 4 CR1M3 4G41NST L1T3R4TUR3 4ND HON3STLY 1 DON'T KNOW WHY TH3Y L3T H1M L1V3 SO LONG 4ND WR1T3 SO M4NY SH1TTY BOOKS
1 TH1NK M4YB3 TH3 SUBJUGGL4TORS THOUGHT 1T WOULD B3 FUNNY
4NYW4Y!!!
4WWW, 4R3 YOU SHY? >;]
OR JUST N3RVOUS?
1 LOV3 PUBL1C SP34K1NG, 1 US3D TO DO 4 LOT OF 1T B4CK WH3N 1 W4S FL4RP1NG
1 ST4RT3D D3B4T1NG W1TH SOM3 HUG3 DORK WH1L3 1 W4S TH3R3
W3LL, M4YB3 TH4T'S NOT TH3 R1GHT WORD?
1T W4SN'T MUCH OF 4 D3B4T3
i didn't think it was that bad :(
[ listen in kansas you smuggle what your mom will let you read and you're GRATEFUL for it ]
i'm pretty shy! haha
i've been getting better since coming here?
you know. trying to reach out to people.
and oh my gosh?
an actual debate! i don't think i've ever seen one of those in person.
we had a club at school but i knew better than to even try haha
how'd that go? :O
[ listen in kansas you smuggle what your mom will let you read and you're GRATEFUL for it ]
i'm pretty shy! haha
i've been getting better since coming here?
you know. trying to reach out to people.
and oh my gosh?
an actual debate! i don't think i've ever seen one of those in person.
we had a club at school but i knew better than to even try haha
how'd that go? :O
Y34H!
1'V3 NOT1C3D YOU'R3 4LL OV3R TH3 SORRY 3XCUS3 FOR TH3 1NT3RN3T W3 H4V3 H3R3
YOU'R3 R34LLY PUTT1NG YOURS3LF OUT TH3R3!
1 SHOULD G3T ON TH4T
1T 1S 4LW4YS US3FUL TO KNOW P3OPL3
1T W4S
K1ND OF S4D, 4CTU4LLY >:[
TH1S G1RL GOT UP 4ND ST4RT3D T4LK1NG L1K3 "BLUH BLUH W3 DON'T N33D 4UTHOR1TY, OR L34D3RS, OR 4NYON3 TO BOSS US 4ROUND"
SO 1 D1D MY TH1NG 4ND TR13D TO SP1C3 TH1NGS UP 4ND M4K3 P3OPL3 TH1NK
BUT SH3 JUST WOULDN'T 3NG4G3! >XO
SH3 H4D TH3 WORST "OH BUT P3OPL3 W1LL B3 4SSHOL3S, W3 C4N'T TRUST 4NYBODY BLUH" R3BUTT4LS
1T S33M3D L1K3 SH3 H4DN'T PUT TH4T MUCH R34L THOUGHT 1NTO H3R SUGG3ST1ON 4T 4LL
1'V3 NOT1C3D YOU'R3 4LL OV3R TH3 SORRY 3XCUS3 FOR TH3 1NT3RN3T W3 H4V3 H3R3
YOU'R3 R34LLY PUTT1NG YOURS3LF OUT TH3R3!
1 SHOULD G3T ON TH4T
1T 1S 4LW4YS US3FUL TO KNOW P3OPL3
1T W4S
K1ND OF S4D, 4CTU4LLY >:[
TH1S G1RL GOT UP 4ND ST4RT3D T4LK1NG L1K3 "BLUH BLUH W3 DON'T N33D 4UTHOR1TY, OR L34D3RS, OR 4NYON3 TO BOSS US 4ROUND"
SO 1 D1D MY TH1NG 4ND TR13D TO SP1C3 TH1NGS UP 4ND M4K3 P3OPL3 TH1NK
BUT SH3 JUST WOULDN'T 3NG4G3! >XO
SH3 H4D TH3 WORST "OH BUT P3OPL3 W1LL B3 4SSHOL3S, W3 C4N'T TRUST 4NYBODY BLUH" R3BUTT4LS
1T S33M3D L1K3 SH3 H4DN'T PUT TH4T MUCH R34L THOUGHT 1NTO H3R SUGG3ST1ON 4T 4LL
yeah, for sure!
and... hm
i mean, sure, she doesn't sound like she was very good at what she was doing
but i kind of agree with her?
usually the people i saw as leaders just chose the people whose turn it was to get hurt that day. haha.
and... hm
i mean, sure, she doesn't sound like she was very good at what she was doing
but i kind of agree with her?
usually the people i saw as leaders just chose the people whose turn it was to get hurt that day. haha.
TH3N TH3Y 4R3 B4D L34D3RS.
FULL STOP!
GOOD L34D3RS SHOULD C4R3 4BOUT TH3 P3OPL3 TH3Y L34D!
1T'S NOT 4BOUT POW3R OR M4K1NG D3C1S1ONS OR 3V3N B31NG TH3 BOSS
1T'S 4BOUT M4K1NG SUR3 TH3 P3OPL3 UND3R YOUR C4R3 4R3 S4F3 >:[
TH3R3'S 4 PL4C3 FOR L34D3RS
BUT 1 DON'T W4NT TO P1CK 4NYBODY TO B3 1N CH4RG3 H3R3
1 DON'T KNOW 4NYBODY!
W3LL, 3XC3PT D4V3
4ND NOT R34LLY BUT K1ND OF D1RK...?
BUT 1 KNOW TH3M FROM B3FOR3, TH4T'S D1FF3R3NT
MY PO1NT 1S TH4T 1 B4R3LY KNOW 4NYON3 3LS3!
1'M NOT GO1NG TO PUT SOM3ON3 1 DON'T TRUST 1N 4 POS1T1ON OF POW3R OV3R M3
W3'V3 ONLY B33N H3R3 L1K3 THR33 W33KS! WHY DO W3 N33D 4 ST4T1ON GOV3RNOR????
FULL STOP!
GOOD L34D3RS SHOULD C4R3 4BOUT TH3 P3OPL3 TH3Y L34D!
1T'S NOT 4BOUT POW3R OR M4K1NG D3C1S1ONS OR 3V3N B31NG TH3 BOSS
1T'S 4BOUT M4K1NG SUR3 TH3 P3OPL3 UND3R YOUR C4R3 4R3 S4F3 >:[
TH3R3'S 4 PL4C3 FOR L34D3RS
BUT 1 DON'T W4NT TO P1CK 4NYBODY TO B3 1N CH4RG3 H3R3
1 DON'T KNOW 4NYBODY!
W3LL, 3XC3PT D4V3
4ND NOT R34LLY BUT K1ND OF D1RK...?
BUT 1 KNOW TH3M FROM B3FOR3, TH4T'S D1FF3R3NT
MY PO1NT 1S TH4T 1 B4R3LY KNOW 4NYON3 3LS3!
1'M NOT GO1NG TO PUT SOM3ON3 1 DON'T TRUST 1N 4 POS1T1ON OF POW3R OV3R M3
W3'V3 ONLY B33N H3R3 L1K3 THR33 W33KS! WHY DO W3 N33D 4 ST4T1ON GOV3RNOR????
i mean, you can say that...
and it's probably true? but like.
then it seems like there are a lot more bad leaders than good ones.
you know?
but also you know dave and dirk??
i met them earlier! they seem really nice.
kind of.
actually dave seems way too cool and dirk seems like a crazy genius who doesn't have room for emotions???
so like. you know.
i'm sure they're nice though.
anyway i'm glad we agree on that part though. :)
no station governors required
and it's probably true? but like.
then it seems like there are a lot more bad leaders than good ones.
you know?
but also you know dave and dirk??
i met them earlier! they seem really nice.
kind of.
actually dave seems way too cool and dirk seems like a crazy genius who doesn't have room for emotions???
so like. you know.
i'm sure they're nice though.
anyway i'm glad we agree on that part though. :)
no station governors required
TH4T 1S 3NT1R3LY TRU3
4LT3RN14 W4S RUL3D BY TH3 SH1TT13ST L34D3R OF TH3M 4LL
BUT 1'M JUST S4Y1NG!
JUST B3C4US3 TH3R3 4R3 SOM3 B4D ON3S DO3SN'T M34N TH3 3NT1R3 CONC3PT 1TS3LF 1S B4D
YOU SOUND JUST L1K3 TH3 G1RL FROM TH3 M33T1NG!
4ND L3T M3 T3LL YOU 4 S3CR3T
YOU C4NNOT T3LL TH3M 1 TOLD YOU
4R3 YOU R34DY FOR TH1S S1CK TRUTH???
DO NOT L3T TH31R COOL P3RSON4S D3C31V3 YOU
TH3Y 4R3 4LSO HUG3 DORKS >:]
4LT3RN14 W4S RUL3D BY TH3 SH1TT13ST L34D3R OF TH3M 4LL
BUT 1'M JUST S4Y1NG!
JUST B3C4US3 TH3R3 4R3 SOM3 B4D ON3S DO3SN'T M34N TH3 3NT1R3 CONC3PT 1TS3LF 1S B4D
YOU SOUND JUST L1K3 TH3 G1RL FROM TH3 M33T1NG!
4ND L3T M3 T3LL YOU 4 S3CR3T
YOU C4NNOT T3LL TH3M 1 TOLD YOU
4R3 YOU R34DY FOR TH1S S1CK TRUTH???
DO NOT L3T TH31R COOL P3RSON4S D3C31V3 YOU
TH3Y 4R3 4LSO HUG3 DORKS >:]
haha. do i?
i guess i'm sad i didn't hear her talk then!
maybe i'd have gotten along with her.
or maybe i'd sort of hate her?
you never know with that kind of thing.
also i kind of figured?
the people that seem too cool for school usually are.
at least that's how jupiter is.
i guess i'm sad i didn't hear her talk then!
maybe i'd have gotten along with her.
or maybe i'd sort of hate her?
you never know with that kind of thing.
also i kind of figured?
the people that seem too cool for school usually are.
at least that's how jupiter is.
yeah. i absolutely felt it.
if anything it's like, i'm more me than i ever was before?
everything was holding me back, and now
nothing has to.
i'm me and it's amazing.
i want people to see me? i want people to look at me like this.
i'm not really used to that feeling.
[ and she'd write more about that except something more important is going down excuse her- ]
he's seen you already??
so like
he. knows???
[ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING???? ]
if anything it's like, i'm more me than i ever was before?
everything was holding me back, and now
nothing has to.
i'm me and it's amazing.
i want people to see me? i want people to look at me like this.
i'm not really used to that feeling.
[ and she'd write more about that except something more important is going down excuse her- ]
he's seen you already??
so like
he. knows???
[ THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING???? ]
haha.
she's the devil, and she's one of the most important people in my life?
she's super cool, and good at basically everything she tries, and just kind of amazing in general.
except actually, she's a massive dork.
one time i saw her walk into a doorway even though one of her hands was on the doorknob?
it was great. even if i felt really bad
she's the devil, and she's one of the most important people in my life?
she's super cool, and good at basically everything she tries, and just kind of amazing in general.
except actually, she's a massive dork.
one time i saw her walk into a doorway even though one of her hands was on the doorknob?
it was great. even if i felt really bad
that... sounds nice
really nice
mine
doesn't feel nice like that
but I'm happy for you
[Maybe she's just a lot better at this than he is? Or her heart is stronger? Or her demon was just a lot more better-natured than his? He doesn't know.
Anyways, he wasn't expecting this to be so weird, but he guesses he can see why.]
yeah
he's known since the beginning, he was there
I think we both kinda knew that something like this might happen?
well, not exactly, but kinda
you don't go hunting down demons without thinking something might go wrong
really nice
mine
doesn't feel nice like that
but I'm happy for you
[Maybe she's just a lot better at this than he is? Or her heart is stronger? Or her demon was just a lot more better-natured than his? He doesn't know.
Anyways, he wasn't expecting this to be so weird, but he guesses he can see why.]
yeah
he's known since the beginning, he was there
I think we both kinda knew that something like this might happen?
well, not exactly, but kinda
you don't go hunting down demons without thinking something might go wrong
oh. i'm sorry.
that sounds... really hard. :(
i wish i could change things for you
make them easier, you know?
[ -wait hold up ]
wait
why were you looking for demons?
that sounds... really hard. :(
i wish i could change things for you
make them easier, you know?
[ -wait hold up ]
wait
why were you looking for demons?
thanks
I can handle it most of the time
it just kinda sucks
I either... wanna break everything or cry my eyes out. or both
it's just kinda exhausting after a while
[He wishes Amon paid rent.]
we had to find out more about them
and catch them on camera so we could reveal them to the world
otherwise they were just gonna keep hurting people in secret and we couldn't let that happen
I can handle it most of the time
it just kinda sucks
I either... wanna break everything or cry my eyes out. or both
it's just kinda exhausting after a while
[He wishes Amon paid rent.]
we had to find out more about them
and catch them on camera so we could reveal them to the world
otherwise they were just gonna keep hurting people in secret and we couldn't let that happen
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