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Yeah! I can... just kind of tell, I guess? I don't think I've ever seen you this- [ happy? excited? real? ] -this open, I guess? I kind of love it.

[ venus doesn't waste any time in flopping down near terezi. if they wanna do this lying down, they can absolutely do this lying down. there's a bunch of pillows, and a few blankets, and some sheets and some fabric, and just like that they're in a nest of their own making. ]

How do you feel? [ her voice is restrained but excited, soothing but energetic. she wants to hear it from terezi's lips - how things are going, what she feels like. ] I'm here for you.

It's like... [She taps a finger to her chin as she thinks.] It's kind of a lot all at once! But in a good way.

I have such a hard time talking about things. I mean, talk about being Captain Obvious, am I right? But I've never really been at ease with myself and the things inside my mind. I like to think I put on a good show of being confident and cool, but the truth is that I'm just kind of a broken person on the inside. And I never wanted anyone to realize that.

[Is she going too hard? Is this too much? Those doubts still swirl in the back of her mind, but it's so much quieter now. Subdued. If there's anyone who'd be understanding of a devil-induced feelings dump, it's Venus.]

It tore me up so much to never be able to open up to anyone. I even kept some of that from my moirail while we were together. You know, the one person you're supposed to be that open with? And now... that fear is still there, but it doesn't feel as much of a problem anymore, you know? Like I can finally start trying to move past that.

Wow. [ what else is she supposed to say? it really is a lot. it's a lot, and nobody understands. but maybe they can understand. ] I... kind of know what that's like? Not exactly, but something like it. Being broken, and feeling like you have to hide. And- and that sucks, so much, and I'm sorry you weren't able to tell her.

[ a pause. she smiles, reaching forward to brush her fingers against terezi's hand. ]

But. It's kind of selfish? Haha. But I'm glad you're sharing it with me now.

[ a hundred eyes look into terezi's blinded ones, each shining with reassurance. she means every word she's saying. does that come through? maybe she can smell it. haha. she can't help but wonder what the truth smells like, truth and care and the graze of fingertips against mottled gray. ]

[It reminds her so much of that moment in the bar. A soft touch against her fingers. The sense of being the center of attention of countless eyes.]

I kissed you earlier. [She kind of blurts it out, an awkward segue into an awkward memory, but if there's any time to admit what happened, it's now. Venus should know before they go any further. It's only right.] Back when the station was getting all weird and there were those monsters and shadow doubles running around. I found a you who wasn't you.

She was so sad because Jupiter and Neptune left, and I was all sad, and we started making out, and I just wanted to enjoy the moment without letting myself get in the way. And then I started overthinking things and freaked out and left and oops, that's why I've been avoiding you for so long!

[She props herself up on her elbows and turns to face Venus head-on. Please don't mind the fact she's slightly off angle.]

That's kind of a big thing to keep from someone, and it doesn't feel right to stay quiet about it. I thought you should know.

Oh. [ she sounds- surprised? but not that surprised. "i think i saw you yesterday at the store," along those lines. like something she wasn't aware of, but has no reason to disbelieve. ] Huh.

[ and for a moment, those two words are all that come out. some eyes turn inward, and some squeeze shut, and others roam over terezi - her skin, her horns, her lips. there's a lot to take in! but maybe not as much as there should be. venus starts speaking again, her eyes not leaving the other girl. ]

I guess... I'm not that surprised? [ a pause. she tries to reword it. ] I mean, it's something I've kind of thought about. Like... something in a dream, you know? Like I can almost remember doing it, little pieces of it, but not really enough to...

[ she falls silent again. for a moment, she just looks at terezi. slowly, one hand reaches up - towards terezi's cheek, the sharp line of her jaw under thin grey flesh. when she speaks again, her voice is nearly a whisper. ]

Was it nice? For you, I mean.

[Relief rises up in her chest like a flood, sweeping away any lingering apprehension. She didn't know how Venus would react to being told something like that. Terezi didn't think it would be bad, but who knows how "I made out with a shadow double of you" will go over with someone? That's pretty weird for most people to hear.]

Other than the part where we were both fucked up and sad? Yeah. It was pretty nice! That's part of why I freaked out so bad. It was just a whole mess of feelings I didn't know how to handle for a while.

[She sits up all the way now, pressing her face into the hand that hovered close by. It's nice, being touched like this.]

Not anymore, though.

[Something moves her, then, the feeling of wanting and the confidence to reach out for it, encouraged by Venus's receptiveness. She can do anything now. It's okay for her to kiss and make out with someone who wants to, or bury her fingers in soft feathers, or a hundred others things. The only thing stopping her now is herself, so she rolls over, up and onto her knees, and drapes herself above Venus.]

So. [She waggles her eyebrows.] You've thought about me, huh? [She sniffs down at Venus, watching for her reaction. Is this okay? Is this alright?]

I'm glad? I think.

[ it's addressed at- well, all of it. even the bad parts, because they're things terezi can say now. she understands what that's like, finally having words for something you might not have even known was there all along. and she also understands the feeling of terezi straddling her, the familiar heat rising to her cheeks, even if she doesn't quite comprehend it immediately. the hand at terezi's cheek drops, tracing down sharp cheeks and collarbone. ]

I mean. Yeah? [ because it's not like she's going to lie about it. she's cute, in a weird and angular alien way, but one that's not even remotely unwelcome in this house of devils. she looks up to terezi's glasses, a smile slowly crossing her face before she stifles a laugh. ] Uh. I was going to ask if that was okay, but I guess you've already made out with me, huh?

Edited 2018-10-12 05:25 (UTC)

Well, then. Seems like we're on the same page!

[Terezi dips down to press a small kiss against Venus's lips. Quick and playful, testing the waters. She grins back, wide and sharp, her glasses starting to fall askew from her face. She's all knobby knees and elbows, sharp angles and bony protrusions. It is a Christmas miracle that at least three trolls and one human took a look at this awful knife girl and thought to themselves, "Oh, I gotta get this gremlin all up in my personal space."

Looks like she can add a devil to that list now.]

Haha.

[ she doesn't really have time for much past that. terezi's lips cut her off, and she can't help but think how weird it is that someone so rigid and angular still has soft lips. soft-ish? they don't really feel like normal lips. that's kind of cute too. ]

Wow. [ that sounded kind of dorky. ] Your teeth are really sharp? It's kind of hot.

[ oh. that sounded really dorky. ]

Oh???

[Did you hear that, Venus? All three of those pleased question marks? A lot of troll beauty standards centered around how dangerous you were, from your teeth to your horns. She hadn't expected that to be a plus with anyone other than a troll.

Delighted laughter bubbles up out of her mouth and spreads under her skin. It was nice to hear that, and she wants Venus to know just how nice that was. What's the point of all this if she can't even share that much?

She licks a stripe against the side of Venus's face, down to her neck. Bright like a star, gold and sweet like syrup. A softer echo of the sun that changed Terezi's life.]

You're not so bad yourself, you know!

Hahahaha wow??

[ it starts as a genuinely pleased little giggle and almost immediately turns into a full-body shiver. terezi's tongue is almost as dangerous as the rest of her, and usually that'd be a metaphor and not a physical comparison but right now it's definitely fucking destroying venus. tongues are kind of gross! that shouldn't feel as good as it does! but it definitely does!!

she vaguely remembers terezi talking of smells and tastes. is this her seeing her, up close? that's good. she can get into it. ]

Wow. Okay. [ venus's free hand rises up off the floor, snaking up to terezi's hips. ] What, uh... what parts do you like?

[ is it a bit shameless? yeah. but as nice as being seen is, she can't help but wonder what being smelled is like. ]

[Score. She may be blind, but there's no missing that shiver. Plus fucking one to Terezi's tongue.

She playfully licks the tip of Venus's nose.] For starters, your light is very nice. So that enhances the overall package.

[Delicately, gently, she then traces an outline around a wing eye with a claw. Licking it would probably be uncomfortable and unwelcome right now, but it doesn't stop her from wondering how it'd taste.] Your eyes are such a pretty color, too! They smell like sour raspberry candy, or blue quandong, or whatever those fruits are called. And you've got so many, all in your soft cotton candy wings.

[Her fingers slowly trail across the wings and along Venus's shoulders.] You're pretty... [With her clawtips, she reaches into the half-open gap of Venus's shirt, gently teasing the skin below her collarbone.] And you've been so patient and kind to me....

[Then she TOUCH........ THE TITTY...........]

Hahahaha! Nice rumble spheres.

[ venus preens in the attention, letting every word out of terezi's mouth wash over her. not that she has to stick with metaphor, after all: terezi's tongue and fingers are more than happy to follow suit, and venus can't help the way she shifts and shivers and gives soft little sighs beneath the other girl. for a while, she's happy to just let terezi take care of her like this.

and then terezi just grabs the tiddy. venus can't help the initial confused honk that escapes her, or the fit of laughter that hits her shortly after. god. it's funny! terezi is funny!! this is why they started hanging out in the first place, after all.

when the laughter subsides, venus looks up at terezi with as many of her eyes as she can focus. slowly, the hand at the troll's hip drifts upward, playing with the hem of her shirt. ]

...I like you. A lot. But you're not the only one I like. [ she says it simply, softly - a notification more than a warning. ] You know that, right? Is that... okay?

[ for the future. for now. before we go any further. a lot of things to be okay with, rolled up into one small question. ]

Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t that be okay?

[She kinda just blurts it out without thinking, a confused look on her face. Trolls have many partners. A good chunk of the stability of their society used to depend on that fact. But then it finally percolates through her pan what’s being asked here, so she puts on her serious face and gives a serious answer.]

I know you’ve got a pale crush on that Akechi guy. And probably some other people, knowing you. And just because Jupiter and Neptune aren’t here and I am doesn’t mean you don’t still love them. I don’t even want to think about taking their place! What we’ve got going on now is nice. But I would never expect this to be exclusively for us.

[This isn’t quadrant business, with all its insistently role-monogamous drama. She’s had enough of that for a lifetime. This is just plain old relationship business, and making sure everything is straight (heh) between them. They’ve both got other people in their lives, and that’s okay. It’s important that she let Venus know that she knows and understands.]

You like so many people! And that’s part of why I like you.

[ she's not even sure why she was worried in the first place. of course terezi gets it - she'd told her about multiple partners in the first place, right? and even if this is something different, it's still just as valid. ]

Okay. Good. Because I was sort of worried we'd have to like, call things off? Which would have been awkward.

[ deep breaths, venus. just breathe. ]

I like you a whole lot too.

[ you just said that a moment ago, venus. but that's fine. especially since she follows it up with a kiss, leaning up and pushing herself gently with her wings to meet terezi's lips. this time she's a little more ambitious; the hand at terezi's cheek traces a line around the neck of her shirt, and her other hand dips under the bottom hem, fingertips running gently across the grey skin at her waist. ]

Hahaha. That's gay.

[terezi you don't even know what that means

It's not a perfect kiss by any stretch of the imagination -- there's too much teeth and tongue and she accidentally bumps their noses together trying to meet Venus halfway before she angles her face the right way -- but it's pretty alright in her book. A solid 5/7 with grub lice. Would recommend.

Now she's the one who's on the receiving end of those disarmingly nice touches. A little trill escapes her when fingers brush against her abdomen. It would normally be embarrassing to be so caught off guard, so vulnerable -- but why should she be? Isn't this what it's all been for? To be open and free, honest with herself and others? She liked that. It felt good. Being here with Venus, doing this with her -- she's happy in a way that she used to think was impossible for her, whether it was through tangled grief or dissatisfaction with herself or her pan just being the way it was.

But this is fine. It's okay to make some noise. She'll be okay.

It's that thought that hammers it home and makes the abstract real. She'll be okay. What she is now, she can change. She can move forward and heal. It shifts something inside her, tectonic plates moving under the force of that realization. Warmth and acceptance and contentment spreads through those fault lines, ready to come apart under Venus's hands.]

Well. Yeah? I'd hope so.

[ terezi's inexperience with human customs, like sexuality and calling things gay, flies right over venus's head. at least partially because she's busy focusing on the girl in front of her; pressing against her, and taking in her black lips and grey skin and sharp teeth, and laughing gently as terezi makes little trills. it's nice. this is nice. it's not quite the mystical moment of realization at camp - not for her, at least - but it feels good, and right, and she wants to let terezi feel what she's feeling too.

the fingers against terezi's belly catch, sinking into soft flesh with all the resistance of pudding. she brings another hand up, stroking at the crevice with both hands. ]

May I...?

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